Friday, July 25, 2008

in a British paper, no less

An excerpt follows:

From The Times
July 25, 2008
He ventured forth to bring light to the world
The anointed one's pilgrimage to the Holy Land is a miracle in action - and a blessing to all his faithful followers

by Gerard Baker

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”

In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.

And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I can't take it anymore!

I can't take it anymore. I have to vent or my head will explode.

Barack Obama is an idiot! A complete, slack-jawed goobersmooch! He doesn't know anything that his handlers don't feed him on a teleprompter. Not only that, he expects everyone else to be as stupid as he is.

Check out the Eye to Eye segment.

Obama will NOT under any circumstances admit that the surge has worked in greatly reducing the amount of violence (specifically U.S. casualties) in Iraq, in getting us that much closer to a point where we can get the bulk of our troops home. He says the extra troops have "helped" to reduce violence in Iraq, in conjunction with the unexpected cooperation of Muslim tribal leaders and al-Sadr's militias standing down.

What does he think allows the tribal leaders to cooperate with the U.S. without worrying about getting their heads chopped off? It couldn't be that they feel safer with several thousand additional American soldiers around, now could it? Why does he think the militias stood down? Were they having trouble blowing shit up without encountering the business end of an M4? Since they were having trouble bullying tribal leaders, was it not worth it getting shot or captured trying to plant an IED?


Obama expects people to believe that rays of pure white light shone from the sky and doves came down, whispering in angelic dulcet tones that the crazy terrorists must chill out and see reason. He wants people to believe that global warming has increased to such a point that the militias think it's too hot to fight. He wants people to believe that the FORCE OBAMA, an extension of his personal destiny, prepared the way for his trip to the Middle East, so things could be calmer for his arrival.

Truth be known, he doesn't want people to think on their own, just accept the jewels of knowledge that fall from his annointed lips.

Behold, the next president of the U.S.: Barack Hussein Obama.